Moments Of Growth
I’m often asked the question, what encouraged me to start Afro-Mentorship Initiative (AMI). I am quickly filled with the knowing that, for as long as I can remember I have held onto this purpose since the time I was a little girl. Whether it was at school, or in the community I did not find someone who looked like me. Someone that I could connect with, or who could help me discover my truest identity. There wasn’t someone on tv that I could stand and say they were my example, nor someone in my social circle that I could select as my mentor. The people I encountered seemed to stand against me most of the time. People that lived to maintain a perspective that aimed to lock me in a box and title me as “other”. One could simply say that I was lost.
And so… I ventured onto my journey feeling isolated while battling the challenges of an immigrant here in Canada.
The challenges I faced were those centred on prejudice and discrimination. I felt a continued yearning to create an image for myself that I could freely self-express my truest identity. However, I found myself seeking to meet the expectations of what society had of me. I quickly became a top student, was involved in school leadership roles, and even began to develop an Western accent in efforts of maintaining my safety and security. As I continued to assimilate whether by winning spelling B’s in grade 6, or even being asked to be dropped off in a prestigious neighbourhood that wasn’t mine, my culture was lost. As I continued to conform towards the “white-perspective” I gained the attention that I so desperately craved while my mental health began to deteriorate. My cultural pride was quickly replaced by my own shame and condemnation.
The road less travelled
This chapter of my life was lonely. Excelling meant that my anxiety and depression increased. I experienced a lack of sleep as I rarely said “no”. My self-care was neglected because I was too occupied by people pleasing, and stayed silent whenever I encountered a life or academic challenge. Through silence I desperately made effort to maintain my safety and security in a world I knew not to be my own.
I no longer chose to stay silent, but rather to emulate my light. I began to stand firm within my truth. As I began to stand within my truth I started to live a life that resonated with deepest desires. I began to create the change that I dreamt of as a little girl. I met with all levels of government, spoke in front of masses, and to this day continue to lead AMI, the organization that equips Afro-children and youth with the tools, strategies, and resources to create the lasting change that they too dream of. The organization that transforms hurt into healing and promotes education and awareness of who we really are.
As you journey through your path, you are going to find people who cannot handle your light, but that is not your problem. What people think of you is not your problem. The expectations that you think they may have of you, is not your problem. What is your responsibility is to ensure that you remain true to who you really are. That you gain the awareness of who you are and learn to accept all that you are. Through your willingness to heal you will create a life that is fuelled by your truth both internally and externally. You’ll begin to create a life that you are proud to wake up to because you know that you are willing to pour your energy into and to lead confidently within.
Opportunities of growth
Use your challenges as lessons. Use your challenges to fuel you rather than to discourage you. Know that “what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger” (the wise words of my step-father). Meaning, those mistakes aren’t really mistakes but rather opportunities of growth. Being able to stand right now is because of my life experience. Trusting in my purpose rather than kneeling to the desire of what I think someone else wants of me. Don’t give up on yourself. Embrace your imperfections and accept the hard days because it’s through those lessons that will carry you through your life’s journey.
Remember:
Celebrate who you are! Witness how far you’ve come within these past 12 months. Yes, you are not perfect, but you are in a better place than where you have ever been before. You are exactly where you are meant to be in means of evolving into our greatest being.
Action Steps:
Give yourself the gift of extra-time. Rather than scrolling on social media, pick up a book or connect with a friend. Be kind to yourself. Each day, look yourself in the mirror and affirm what you appreciate about yourself. Each night, write down what you are grateful for that you accomplished that day. After 7 days, how does this feel?
